Our love is God. Let's go get a slushie.

Ask Me A Question   "Although what you're about to see is a work of fiction, it should nevertheless be played at maximum volume."

The life and times of Penny Candy, glamour punk Martha Stewart & ambitious ecdysiast.
Also a mermaid.

I can tie cherry stems in knots with my tongue, imagine what I could do with your 401k.

Saucy Brooklyn layabout who dresses like a John Waters character & spends her time collecting vintage formal wear and wearing it at inappropriate times, reading books about serial killers, kissing girls covered in glitter, wearing large hair accessories, baking cookies and giving them to people, causing scenes in public & drinking whiskey in gardens.

I like Carl Perkins, Vladimir Nabokov, Morrissey, Star Wars & Quentin Tarantino.

twitter.com/_factorygirl:

    
Flamingos take refuge in a bathroom at Miami-Metro Zoo, Sept. 14, 1999 as tropical-storm force winds from Hurricane Floyd approached the Miami area.

    Flamingos take refuge in a bathroom at Miami-Metro Zoo, Sept. 14, 1999 as tropical-storm force winds from Hurricane Floyd approached the Miami area.

    (via beperpetuallydrunk)

    — 6 hours ago with 167178 notes
    "I know you’re at a Con right now and also in another state but I really need you to come rub my back right now."
    I’m not actually sending that text but it’s how I feel.
    — 7 hours ago
    #also austin sounds way fun ad I'm jealous I'm not there too 
    That Guy is so lucky that I am super into myself.
to go with that picture of my face, here’s a picture of my butt.

    That Guy is so lucky that I am super into myself.

    to go with that picture of my face, here’s a picture of my butt.

    — 8 hours ago with 3 notes
    #that's my butt  #saturday night butt  #I have no makeup on and I didn't brush my hair at all today 
    I was feeling kinda Betty Boop the other night and we went to two parties but we had to leave the second one early because strange dudes kept grabbing us and one of them decided he needed to stroke Miss Carrissa for like five minutes until I yelled at him.

    I was feeling kinda Betty Boop the other night and we went to two parties but we had to leave the second one early because strange dudes kept grabbing us and one of them decided he needed to stroke Miss Carrissa for like five minutes until I yelled at him.

    — 9 hours ago with 5 notes
    #dirty mirror  #fancy dress  #my boobs look weird because they've gotten three sizes bigger and I don't know how to work with that 

    John Waters’ Cry-Baby (1990)

    (Source: vintagegal, via kateordie)

    — 10 hours ago with 8689 notes

    I love it when self-proclaimed “Dominant” men on okcupid message me in that condescending way about my “hidden desires” like it’s supposed to get me going.

    OH WAIT. I DON’T LOVE IT. I HATE IT.

    — 11 hours ago
    I’ve also gotten this message on two different profiles!

    I’ve also gotten this message on two different profiles!

    (Source: theyreallysaidthis)

    — 12 hours ago with 39 notes

    Thank heavens yandy.com has super fast shipping because I ordered those open-back tights on those big booty babes in that photo from the other night and I really need them here before That Guy gets back from Austin on tuesday.

    — 13 hours ago

    I have so much champagne in my fridge. I could walk next door to the store, buy orange juice, and go nuts.

    — 15 hours ago with 1 note
    #I'm not going to because I don't want to put on a bra  #but I could 

    It’s 4:30pm and I have not taken off my pajamas which also means I have not put on underwear. 

    Feels good. I’m enjoying today.

    — 15 hours ago with 1 note
    #I'm wearing super dark lipstick and pajamas 

    suicidewatch:

    Ramones “Oh Oh I Love Her So”

    — 15 hours ago with 231 notes
    We found heaven last night

    The club where Miss Carrissa works on saturday nights also does a big event on friday nights with a 90’s themed band (who happen to have the cutest bassist in the world), and last night we went and they were nice enough to put us in the band’s private vip.

    The best part of all of it was our private bouncer who was extremely efficient about removing obnoxious dudes who even thought about coming too close to us. At one point some drunk guy decided to remove the rope and join us and before he could even step forward, our bouncer escorted him away.

    Now I want a private bouncer to escort me everywhere because getting obnoxious white dudes thrown out for coming near me was the most fun I’ve had all year.

    — 18 hours ago